It all started a little over a year ago. I had just moved from Kansas to Arizona. Upon getting settled in to my new living arrangements, my boyfriend suggested that we buy me a computer. Having a couple hundred dollars to my name, we went shopping. Best Buy was where we first met (my computer and I).
I recall walking around the booths with rows of laptops all set up and ready to fondle. I recall feeling like touching them all would be too overwhelming an experience for me. My boyfriend did the scouting, since he considers himself tech savvy. He narrowed my selection down to 2 models. I recall giving both of them the once over.
"I need something for school. It has to be able to be light and yet able to handle my torture." Plus it had to be somewhat inexpensive. We settled on an Asus laptop which at the time I had never heard of. The box said it was "No. 1 in Quality and Services" as quoted by the Wall Street Journal Asia. Who am I to argue with Asia?
The battery life statement on display at Best Buy said 2 hours unplugged (which may have not been so accurate, however I'm sure that I seriously do torture my computer, so perhaps it's just me). The highlight for my boyfriend when picking out this little spunky laptop was that it would run online games so that he and I could play together (yep, I'm a geek).
There were so many highlights to having my own laptop, too many to list, but to name a few the pretty colors of the Asus we picked were unique which made me feel comfortable about this computer being mine. Of course there's all the high tech lingo that goes along with computers but is not necessary in this story. Sorry geeks.
A little background story on me now. I used to date a guy who was a serious computer geek and I mean that in the nice way. He had earned the title of "Network Engineer" before he and I broke off our engagement (that's a whole other story). While he and I were together, I noticed that he spent a lot of time tinkering with computers. Computers were his life, quite literally. He dreamed in binary, I'm sure. (Geek Joke). While he and I were together, I had inherited one of his older desktops. (Old to a computer geek is NOT old to normal people by any means). So now that I was buying my own laptop, it was all mine.
At first my computer was used for all the necessary things in my life; such as keeping updated on my social life, checking my bank account, video gaming and obviously blogging. In August of this year my computer came in handy for what it was originally purchased for...School. (I have to admit though that the weight of my computer is not nearly as light as what I originally thought when placed in a backpack with multiple other school supplies.)
The weekend before school started, I decided to do something nice for my computer and that's where my love for my computer started to take a devastating toll on my life. I thought the best thing to do in order to properly prepare my computer for school was to run it through a multitude of tests and scans. I did everything I could remember from my previous relationship that I thought would make my computer good as new. Uninstalled a multitude of ridiculous programs that I never used, disk defragmented, Virus Scanned, Spyware Scanned, Mal-ware Scanned and even deleted all my temporary internet files, download folder files, etc. I remember my boyfriend asking me what I was doing one night and I said "cleaning up for school".
I didn't really notice a change in the way my computer preformed, however it told me that it was preforming great. I believed my computer, why shouldn't I? We've had a great relationship and I've never had to doubt it before. The only thing I did notice was that it wasn't truly defragmenting the disk space like I recall my old desktop doing. Hmmn... Then I caught the bug, I think.
The first week of school was great. I didn't need to use my computer for much of anything but found myself playing on Facebook and Googling random things discussed in my class lectures. Oh and I gained an addiction to itunesU. (I have a great thirst for knowledge.) I found that the school's version of free wi-fi was nice in theory but so super unbelievably over used.
The first weekend after classes started, my boyfriend walks into the living room where I am all set up with my laptop and book, reading an assigned article and again he asks "what are you doing" as he looks at my computer. I say "oh, just checking because I noticed it was running strange at school, not sure it's me or the school interwebs". His response was funny to me at the time "didn't you just scan your computer last weekend"?
It was shortly after this incident that I realized that I love my computer. I love my laptop so much more than I ever loved my old desktop. This time it was mine. I used my own money to pay for it, I made it all mine. It wasn't a hand-me-down computer that I could change somewhat, it is ALL mine. Every program, every saved photo and document is mine. Plus it comes along with me everywhere and keeps me company or at least keeps me entertained.
And yes, I have developed an obsession with keeping my computer safe. I love it like a helpless child. I would hate to be the reason why something horrible happened to my computer. I would hate to discover that the information I was feeding it or using it for was poisonous in some way. I would be devastated to lose my computer. I would sob, most likely, it would be the emotional equivalent of losing a pet (one that only lived for a short time).
I'm sure there are people who would argue against my perception of my computer however, it has been with me through thick and thin. When I started school, my computer and I had an agreement that we were in this together until the end. If something I did caused my computer to not hold up to it's end of the bargain, then yes I would be sad and of course lost without it.
I find myself constantly questioning every warning my computer shows me, and investigating every slip it makes thinking that I know my machine better than anyone else and I would know if something was wrong. I have gone to great lengths to assure that I have protected my precious friend, however I still feel there is nothing I can truly do to keep it completely protected out in this big scary world of bad things and bad people.
My boyfriend now thinks I'm becoming obsessive compulsive about scanning my computer because I've started doing so once every weekend. I fear that my love for my laptop may end up coming between us and yet I can't help but feel like my laptop needs me more because it cannot defend itself nor can it survive without me. I just hope my boyfriend eventually realizes how much this relationship means to me and perhaps doesn't allow my compulsive tendencies to get the best of him.
Think about it.
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